Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Hey, everybody, it's Lacey and I'm Lauren. And welcome to another episode of the Llamas podcast.
[00:00:12] Speaker B: So today we're gonna kind of do a part two.
We were going to talk about being millennials in business, which we still are. That's going to be our next one. So this three part series has kind of turned into a four part series, I guess, but today's gonna be kind of part two of being like a millennial, dealing with your parents and grandparents for some of us and kind of going over that and how we feel. And then at the end, we're going to give you some teasers for new ideas and have you all vote on what you want to hear next. So, Lacy, if you want to give us like the little update.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
And I don't know, maybe it's not a millennial thing.
It kind of ties into what Lauren was saying last week. So if y' all remember, you know, talking about the dynamic between us and our parents and being millennials, Lauren mentioned that she felt that we were a little needier too. Like, Lauren, you were mentioning with your surgery, your husband, of course, is going to be there, but your mom is too. And so I'm curious if some things are just millennials or because of location. Right. So, Lauren, you live how close to your parents and how often do you see them?
[00:01:23] Speaker B: I love. We're about 40, 45 minutes apart.
We're just one county over.
I will say I see my mom a good bit. So my kids do go to school, but my mom, they get out at 2:30 and my mom picks them up two to three days a week depending on my husband's work schedule. And I think some of my situation is probably different than a lot of people's. My husband's parents have both passed away.
I'm an only child. He's an only child.
My grandparents have all been dead for over 10 years now.
So we do not have a large support system in everything like it is. My parents, my aunt and uncle will try to help, but another factor, my dad is the baby in his family by about 10 years from my aunt. So my aunt and uncle have always been a big part of my life. But a lot of times I hope they don't listen to this, but they would come to like my band competitions. And I remember it was at USA's freshman year and it was my, the guy that stood beside me looked over and he goes, it's so sweet. Your grandparents come to everything.
Yeah, thank you. It is sweet. I wasn't gonna correct him, he's never like gonna say anything to me.
[00:02:40] Speaker A: Right.
[00:02:41] Speaker B: For us.
My parents are about the only ones who really help me with my kids in the least bit. My mother in law used to but she died unexpectedly in a very short amount of time. And it's kind of just I have to have them for help.
It's even hard, I will be honest, just finding a babysitter up here that you are with that we're not willing to pay people to watch our kids. It's just really hard here finding people to help with kids. So probably closer to my mom.
My dad doesn't come as much. My dad still works and my mom is retired but I see her two to three times a week.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Yeah, so my dynamic is different.
I am a little over an hour, hour and 15 minutes. But like I have a sister and she lives right beside my mom so they both live in Union. And so my mom takes the girls, my nieces, I have three nieces there.
I'm an aunt of more children but just three nieces there. And so she takes them to school every day, she picks them up every day. And I love that, I love that for my sister but in that, you know, I don't see my mom but usually once a month if that. And my mother in law as well, she, she still works so I know she doesn't get my nephews in Greer as much.
I think she might start because I think my oldest nephew is about to start school so I think she's going to start helping with maybe pickup which is great. Like I'm not super close to my brother in law and his fiance but I love that for them. Like I love that she is able to get them and I am closer to his fiance so I love that they have that help. But we don't have that because we are almost two hours away from her. So you know we do have people here, we have a system set up and I'm beyond beyond grateful for the people we have here because I don't know if we would make it. Like my kids call Nana and Papa and it is Katie, our nanny's parents. So I was talking about my friend Britney is her in laws but they call them Nana and Papa and like I invited them to Luke's awards. I didn't invite my mom and my mother in law and it wasn't out of like not wanting them there. I don't want them to feel like obligated to drive all that way for his end of the year awards. And so that's why I didn't tell them about it, but I don't know, maybe I should just tell them. But I just feel bad because I, I don't want to put any pressure on them to come, if that makes sense. Even though they put pressure on me and make me feel guilty when I don't come there. And so that is just kind of a reoccurring theme. And I'm curious what your thoughts on this are, Lauren. So two things I'll take. The first thing is my mom and my grandma both have made comments about how they wish they could hang out with just me and have a day with just me.
I want a day with just me too.
Like I, I am Almost, I'll be 37 in five days, so I am closer to 40. And so for me, if I can get away with my kids, like, I just want to let loose a little bit. Like I, I don't party and go out like that and I don't really care to, but I want to go to a girls night like and just have some wine and some dinner with my friends or go on a date with my husband or go to a concert, which my mom and grandma are more than welcome to come to. But half the time my mom doesn't want to go to the concerts she in the last one she went to. It was very hard on her physically.
And I, I do hate that for her and I, but I understand.
But then my grandma's like, you know, I just want a day to spend with you. And a little part of me is a little upset because, like, I know the reason me and my grandma are so close is because I had so much one on one time with my grandma. I don't remember my grandma and my mom like making it a priority to have one on one time with each other.
And so I don't know, I just think that's weird for them to try to pressure me to have one on one time with them. Like, why wouldn't you want to be with my kids? Why wouldn't you want to spend time with them? Because they're at such a fun, incredible age.
So is that my parents being weird or is this a millennial dynamic? And like what you were saying, we are closer to our parents and needier. So am I supposed to be have that?
[00:07:17] Speaker B: I think, I don't know. I think it's where like every family dynamic is different. So like I feel like my mom and my grandma, I called her Mimi, they never like went and had girls day or anything. I mean, they might go to an event at church that was like adults on like planning a shower at church or something for like one of the ladies at the church or like a birthday party, which, let's be honest, my mom did it not. My grandma was not a social person.
My grandma was happy to sit at home most of her days. But I will say as far as child rearing, I stayed with my grandma all the time. Like my grandma, I went backstorming, I went to daycare, got really, really sick. My mom and dad were having to take off of work all the time. So my grandma ended up quitting work to keep me so my parents wouldn't lose their jobs from all the days they had to take off. So that's not a struggle to our generation. Like feeling overwhelmed with taking care of kids because my mom literally had called out so much she thought she was going to get fired. So my grandma quit and took me. So like my grandma kept me from the time I was like one and a half until I could stay by myself. So like. But my mom and grandma never had like girls day. Like a lot of times, like, honestly, we grew up like my grandma lived right beside us. I lived here. My grandma cooked dinner for all of us. We would eat dinners like as a family. We all were eating dinner together, but it was all of us. There wasn't like any time that was like just my mom and grandma aside from those old only events and stuff. But I feel like my mom and my grandma were close though. Like, but I think there's always one side of the family. I don't know, I've always noticed, like kind of there's either one child or one side of the family you're closer to in families. Like I know like was we got married, like I was closer to my parents than Wes was to his mom. Just he was very close to his mom. Like he was the only child too, but we did more stuff with my parents and I feel like that brought out some jealousy in West's mom. But in all reality I'd always done stuff with my parents, so my life didn't. Like, I just included him in that. So I think sometimes it's just the different families, but I don't see the. I don't know, like.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Yeah, I just don't.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: I don't see the point.
[00:09:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And I just don't think the same pressure is put on my sister. And like I said, she is around the corner. But when I bring up anything with, I mean, not much comes up about my sister. I mean I just talk to my sister. But I just, I would be shocked if she said she gets the same things like my mom asking her just to spend days together, just the two of them. Because for me it's always been like, well, your sister has kids, you know, she's got, she's got three kids and she's got, you know, softball and she's got a busy schedule. And I feel like they're way more understood understanding of my sister's schedule than mine.
I have a child with special needs that has extra appointments. I mean, I have a three year old that just finished up soccer, which he hated, that was a wash, but now he's in swim team every day. I have a husband that coaches two sports a year. And so I'm constantly on the go. I'm not just an attorney, I'm also a business owner.
So I too have just as busy of a schedule as my sister. I, I wouldn't say it's busier, honestly, because I especially like in softball season, maybe when she's not in softball season, it's not as busy, but I, we are equally as busy at least. And I just don't think that same pressure is there. So the fact that you say that and I'm thinking about my sister. Yeah, maybe it's not a millennial thing and it's just me, but it's very frustrating that.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: Think you have to take your family dynamic into account and the fact that, sorry, Lacey's sister, if you're watching this, but Lacey was the favorite by mama.
Like, I feel like that some of it too is like, you're still the favorite and she just wants you to herself kind of thing.
[00:11:19] Speaker A: I also think it's different for people that do not have children with their parents.
So like, I know, and even grandparents, like when grandma got sick, my husband's grandma, which is also my cousin Paige that works with me, their grandma Paige moved in to take care of her. Paige was the only one that did not have children. And so she was really close to grandma and did so much with her.
But she also, like I said, without children, had more opportunities, I guess.
Whereas, like, you know, Philip and Kevin both love grandma so very much, but they. Kevin has three kids. He's raised two and was raising two at the time. And Philip had two children during that time. And so I just think, you know, they didn't have as many opportunities to have that time.
So I think that also goes into account. So, like, if you're listening this, I'm curious. Definitely let us know. You know, do you have kids. And if you do have kids, do you take time to spend one on one time with your parents or your grandparents? Like, is that something that's a priority or do you think that's weird?
And if you don't have kids, is that something that you know is easier for you? And if you have siblings, is that dynamic different? Because I do think that that also plays a part in it. Like you were saying, you see yours a little more, but you are an only child.
I think if me and Mark were only children, our parents would probably visit us more. I honestly think Susan, my mother in law, would have potentially moved here after Mimi passed away if we, if Mark was her only child.
But I think the fact that Mimi, when she was moving was still here with us and she had one child back home, that is why she didn't. So like I, I think that plays a part in family dynamic dynamics as well.
And maybe not so much the millennial.
[00:13:22] Speaker B: Thing plays into it how active and how much like friends your parents have and what stage of life they're in right now. Because I think that plays into it too. Like my mom very much has friends, but they are all in the same stage of life as hers having like little grandkids and like they're all so busy, like they can't all get like she has a best friend that she's been friends with since I was a child, like, and her, she don't get to see her very often. Their biggest thing is like when they're driving to watch grandkids, they'll call each other on the phone and catch up. But physically they don't get to see each other as much because their stages of life. So I think some of it is like what's going on for. And my dad still works, so he is very still. My dad's a very social person and my mom is too.
But like they're having to make different priorities too based on what their life is and their friend's life. And you know, it's just my mother in law was a single mom so she always had a big group of friends.
She liked to go out honky tonkin.
We realized after her dad would have.
[00:14:24] Speaker A: Been great friends back in the day.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: Oh, we found a whole box of stuff that had men's pictures in it, all these things.
So like she had a love life and everything. But my husband never knew about it, which I'm glad for him that he didn't have like these scars of that. But I do think it's kind of like what your parents do, what they have going on. Because I know there's some parents, like our millennial parents that have nothing to do with their. Not nothing.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:14:50] Speaker B: But, like, their grandkids are just, like, here and there because they're out traveling the world and doing things. I think also being in the south plays into it, because I think in the south, we tend to be a lot more family centered here. A lot of times, like, families stay closer to each other. A lot of times we don't move away. Like, we stay close. Like, I mean, how many of our friends from high school actually left, like, South Carolina, the Southeast?
Not many, But a lot of my friends from law school who were from all over the country. Yeah, like, one of my good friends.
[00:15:24] Speaker A: All over the country.
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Yeah, they're all over. They didn't stay close. We're here. I think most of, like, the people we were friends with, for the most part, have stayed within driving distance. Like, maybe some have moved to, like, the beach or Charleston or like, Atlanta. But, like, they are. We're all closely within a bubble.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: I agree.
So the other thing that kind of ties in was my grandma made the comment that I need to quit making.
I need to quit going too many concerts and come see my family, in which my response was, I spend every day with my family. So if you watch the Kardashians, me and Lauren both love reality tv. So in Kardashians, I remember, like, they were planning for holidays or something. And Courtney was like, I'm spending Christmas with my family. And they're like, we are your family. And I know, like, my family is my husband and my children.
And so, you know, I remember watching, I was like, God, you have all these great siblings, like, all your sisters and your mom. Why wouldn't you want to spend this holiday with them? And now I just caught myself sounding like Courtney, because when my grandma said that, I was like, I spend every day with my family. And also, I don't even go to a lot of concerts. I've gone to one this year, and it was literally for my birthday, because my birthday, like I said, is in five days. And so I went and saw Post Malone and Jelly Roll, and that's the first concert I've been to this year. I did do a lot of concerts last year, but that's very rare for me.
But with that, like, I am with my family every day. I am with my children every day. I'm with my husband every day.
That is my family. I'm not saying that, like, my mom and my Grandma aren't my family. They for sure are, but it's just. There's different chapters of life, and I feel like me and my grandma had this beautiful chapter where I was her little girl and she just. Just, you know, spoiled me. Like you said, I was the favorite. And it's also caused a lot of issues with me and my sister and my cousins that have taken decades to resolve. To be honest, that's a podcast for another day.
But she. It's like that.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: She.
[00:17:31] Speaker A: She just can't let me grow up. Like, I just. I really resonate with Courtney and feeling that way now. And I think, you know, the Kardashian dynamic, where a lot of the girl, they've been married and divorced, so they don't have a significant other and spouse or spouse, that has just kind of changed that. And I'm glad that the other sisters have each other and have that. But, you know, my dynamic is so different from how we were raised. But what's funny is it's not. That's how my mom was raised. My mom was raised, like, every Christmas with her mom, her dad, and her siblings, and they used to go camping, her camping, her mom, her dad, and siblings. And she talks about when her mom and dad got divorced, all that was ruined. Well, now I have that. Like, I have these moments with my family, but it's weird for me, like, because I grew up with a single mom and I had my grandma, and my papa passed away, and it was just us girls and my sister. Like, I'm expected to still keep that as my core instead of moving on with what my core is.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: I guess for me, it's a little different.
I'm from a very small family now, like, just me and my husband, our kids. I have parents. He really doesn't have much. I mean, he has, like, extended family, aunts and uncles. So it's different for us. But I will say, growing up, we used to go visit, like, my great aunt Cece on Christmas, we would go visit my Aunt Katie. These were all, like, great aunts and uncles or great great aunts and uncles. And, like, sometimes it makes me really sad that my kids aren't going to have that experience because we don't have a of family. So for us, yes, my core family is my husband and my two kids. But I do sometimes feel sad because we don't have a big extended family and we don't have that. And I just remember such fond memories. Like, I want, say, my great Aunt Sissy, I thought of her as another grandma, but like, her grandchild is my cousin Betsy, who's technically my third cousin. But to this day, I text her almost every day, or at least every other day. And we keep up with each other. And that relationship is a lot closer than. I don't talk to my first cousins. Like, I don't know the last time I have talked to them. So, like, it's kind of different for me. But I will say I think there's a balance. But I think, you know, holidays and stuff are hard, but, like, when the family's not there as much, you may miss those times where you did have a lot of family around.
[00:19:53] Speaker A: And I will say, I say all this right, like, and it's always on me, like, my mama, grandma, you know, you come home and stuff like that. But I had a long weekend, Easter, and was off and offered to come, but my sister had been very busy with softball, so she just wanted to spend Easter with her family. And it's like, oh, well, Tab doesn't.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: Want to do it.
[00:20:13] Speaker A: She just wants to spend Easter. So we're not going to have anything.
But yet I'm fault faulted for not coming when I was like, hey, yeah, I can come for Easter. We have a long weekend. That's perfect. Like, let's do something at my mom's. And my mom was like, well, your sister doesn't want to. She just wants to have it with her family.
But, yeah, I'm supposed to not spend time with my family and go see my family, so that's a little annoying. And I don't know, I just. Maybe it's just not a millennial thing. Maybe it's just, like you said, it's my weird dynamic in my family dynamics.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: Different. Different people do a family. What I do is very different than, like, what? Well, my one paralegal is Albanian, and she pretty much, she's here now. She's in the US but she said when they're there, like, they say close their families, but, like, their families don't go in nursing homes or anything. Like, the kids are expected to, like, take care of them, and that's their cultural thing. So it doesn't matter what age you are. I can't. I don't really know if she's a millennial. She's about to be 50, so I think she's in the generation in between millennial and boomer. But I think some of it's just your culture and how you were talking about culture. We have some ideas for our next ones that we want you to vote on. And so we're gonna tell you some ideas. So the first one is one I pitched to Lacey because as she said earlier, we watch reality tv, Sister Wives and all the legal drama that goes on there because he's only married to one woman. Like how does this work out? How does child support work out? Especially now? I mean there are still minor kids there with Robin, if that was the split and kind of that side of things. Plus the Mormon, if anybody hasn't watched that on Hulu, the Mormon Family Housewife, not Housewives of Mormon Wives.
[00:22:00] Speaker A: There's some issues there. Like I think one of the girls was trying to get a cease and desist on the other. When can you get a cease and desist and stuff like that? But definitely some interesting dynamics to tackle in that reality show too.
[00:22:14] Speaker B: And I think as we're doing that, if y' all haven't watched the Poly Family, which I know Lacy hasn't, but there's a lot of interesting legal stuff in that one as well. Because they don't know who the kid's daddy is because they're switching. Oh my gosh. That's really, I think so kind of like a reality tv. But the legality of like what's really going on in real life is like one that would be kind of a three part series or four kind of depending on what all we get into. And then Lacy, if you want to tell us about another one.
[00:22:43] Speaker A: So like I said, like Lauren was saying, you're going to get to choose one of our next series. So that one next would be our True Crime. A lot of people reached out and loved our True Crime series. So we would put together another one of those. Some ideas that we've had is talking about the Karen Reed trial. There is a Netflix special on that. She's being retried right now. The P. Diddy trial as well. I.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: And the trout on the. It's on Netflix as well. I cannot the American Wife, something like that. But it's about. It's got a lot of good legal stuff to it as well. So it would be true crime and what's happening now.
[00:23:19] Speaker A: Yeah, because I'll be honest, I. I said PDD was guilty and now I'm wondering if he's actually guilty of the charges or just being trash. So, you know, I'll share my thoughts on that if y' all pick that one last. I told Lauren I think we could do some legal stuff on some Union tea.
There's just been some different, you know, dynamics and people. I don't want to share any names. And we're not going to do that. But, you know, some, some stories, some questions we've gotten, some experiences that we've.
Without sharing names, just situations and given some of our opinions now as attorneys and going through some of those union dynamics. If you want some small town tea, again, if you choose that, we're not going to say names, but to give you that perspective because I have gotten, you know, questions and stuff like that and how we give advice and things and messages and just things people go through and what our thoughts are like.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Being a lawyer from a small town when we both still live, like relatively close to said small town and everybody still knows our business.
[00:24:22] Speaker A: Yep. Yep. So those are your options. Reality drama, true crime, small town tea. Let us know what you think our next series would be. And let me know, y' all. Am I a millennial? Am I alone? I don't know. I don't know if I'm a millennial with just normal millennial issues with my family or I'm left solo. But please reach out, let me know Yalls thoughts on the episode. And before we wrap up, let me just say I do love my grandma very, very much. She called me last year and wanted to go see Derek Huff and we went and had a great time. So if my grandma calls me and wants to do something special like that, I love to go.
Like I said, the issue is with the rest of that. But Lauren knows I do love my mama and my mother very much.
[00:25:09] Speaker B: She does put up with a lot from both of them as thank you special. Like, she's a special grandma, but she's.
[00:25:17] Speaker A: A very special grandma. Yeah, I wish she would spread the love she has for me amongst all of us and we would live a more Kumbaya life.
[00:25:26] Speaker B: But yeah, definitely let us know. We're going to post these on Instagram as well, so that way we'll have polls there. Let us know, send us a message and we'll be happy to do the next series. And just because maybe the one you pick isn't voted, we'll probably still do that sometime down the road. We're just trying to gauge ideas on what everybody wants right now, but definitely send us messages. And thanks to all my friends and people who have watched and send me messages like shout out to my BFF Aaron and mine. And yeah, mine and Lacey's college roommate and high school friend Myra have both sent us messages that they've watched the podcast. So shout out to y' all and my. So keep spreading it. Tell your friends and we'll see you next week. Bye.
