Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:05] Speaker B: It's Lacey, and I'm Lauren, and welcome to another episode of the Llamas podcast.
[00:00:11] Speaker A: So today we're going to talk kind of some more about, like, the misinformation and the news to kind of finish up with November. And we're going to talk about some stuff you've probably all been seeing with Disney and Universal and a lot of deaths happening there.
[00:00:25] Speaker B: Before we get in.
[00:00:26] Speaker A: There.
[00:00:28] Speaker B: Leading to death. I do have a question for you, Lauren.
Do you think that you should be legally liable for caring for your parents when they are unable to care for themselves?
[00:00:43] Speaker A: No. When you're not.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: And so, you know, my grandma's getting older.
My friend's a social worker. My grandma's husband Jim is getting older. And so it's kind of like, okay, who's responsible for doing what? But, you know, in their care and in terms of their care. And so can you kind of answer that for people like, what are you legally bound, if anything, to do anything if your parent is. Is old and unable to care for themselves? Like, do you have any duties if you know that they're lying in. In waste?
Do you have to call? Like, can you kind of work through that?
[00:01:23] Speaker A: It's a really hard thing to discuss. And every state probably has different laws, like, you are not responsible for somebody else's care, like, unless it's your child, or, like, you have been appointed as, like, a guardian of them, like, through the court, that type thing. So you're not responsible. But in the same way, you can't abuse them if you are taking care of them. So, like, while you're not responsible, if you start to take on that role and they're sitting there in urine or, you know, not being fed, not being taken care of, then you are responsible because at that point you've taken on that role, but you are not forced to. It's a really vicious cycle here in South Carolina, how this works. So, for instance, say there is a person who is older, has dementia, ends up at the hospital because maybe they had a uti. The hospital says, well, we have to release them to somebody.
We can't send them home by themselves.
Well, what happens then is if nobody really. If there's nobody to release them to, like, a child or something, they end up sending them to the ER because there's nowhere else to put them. And then eventually in this situation, if. No, if this person cannot take care of themselves, they become a ward of the state, almost like kind of like a child situation where they end up.
What typically happens is, like, A nursing home or something. It depends if the person has money or not. If they have money, what happens is typically the court will appoint somebody to be like a conservator guardian of that person, use the funds and put them in a nursing home and their funds are used up. If they have no money, the court the somebody's still appointed, but Medicaid gets involved and puts them in a home.
[00:03:16] Speaker B: So.
[00:03:17] Speaker A: So you don't have a legal responsibility to do anything as a child. But if you do take it on at that point, you can't neglect them. But the bigger part of all this was that it's just a bad cycle. I mean, like, if there's nobody there to take care of them, they end up becoming a ward of the state pretty much.
[00:03:38] Speaker B: So basically, like, if my grandma got dementia, right. And I went to court to get a conservatorship over her, I am responsible at that point of taking care of her legally. But if I don't do that and, you know, she ends up in the hospital, if nobody releases her, then she goes to a home and I am not liable as long as I don't take on.
[00:04:05] Speaker A: Take that on.
Right. But say you went in there and you were living with her and you were letting her be in filth, then you are responsible. Yeah, it's kind of. It's hard. I've had cases dealing with this.
It's just a really sad situation. And we don't have a lot to protect elderly here, and I wish we had more. There's so much like child protective services and this type stuff, but we don't have as much for elderly and pretty much for Medicaid to step in, you have to be completely destitute, meaning you have $2,000 or less in your pocket.
So it's a really sad situation, especially for people who don't have children or whose children are estranged.
But, yeah, you'll end up in the nursing home or become a ward of the state, and it's sad.
Yeah.
[00:04:57] Speaker B: And, you know, my uncle is terminally ill now as well. And, you know, I've told my mom, I was like, you have to make plans as well. Like, I encourage anybody.
Don't put it on your kids either, to have to come up with what needs to be done when you're unable to care for yourself, because that's a lot to put on your children. I don't want to put that on my kids. I told my mom, I was like, you need to make a plan. Like, if you can't care for yourself, like what, what is your plan for what you want done?
You know, do you want to be putting a nursing home? Like are you wanting my sister to take care of?
[00:05:31] Speaker A: Like it's really hard though for somebody to try to come up with this plan because all of it involves money. Like this is the thing. Nursing home.
[00:05:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:41] Speaker A: If you go in a nursing home right now you could be paying 8 to $10,000 a month.
And so then the issue is at what point does Medicaid step in and they take your property? So I mean it was really hard. Like people need to think about it, but some of it is beyond.
I mean like we can, it's really hard. I say this is somebody that does a lot of elder law. Like you think about it and like a lot of people out there get what's known as long term care insurance. So you get this long term care insurance but you outlive it. It only pays for three or five years. You make. And here's an issue. If you're drawing your Social Security in retirement, you may make too much to qualify for Medicaid, but you don't make enough to cover the nursing home costs. Like it's really like while I understand you don't put the burden on your children if you can help it, most these people don't intentionally do.
It's. There's not many nursing homes are so expensive. They're a for profit business. If people don't realize this and you think okay, I've set aside, well like for instance, if my mother in law had to, she passed away from cancer. But before she died there were talks of putting her in a nursing home. She wouldn't qualify because she made this much two more money to get on Medicaid and she owned a house. So she died. The government would take her house or anything like that and we didn't care about that. But like she really didn't have a plan but she really didn't have hardly any assets and we would have drained those. And like it's just hard because none of us can predict the future either. Yes, I mean like if you can do things like having long term care insurance. But the issue now with that is so many companies have stopped offering long term care insurance because so many in our parents generation are living longer and longer.
And then used to like the average stay in a nursing home was only three years. Well in today's time so many people have gotten Alzheimer's and dementia that their bodies are physically doing okay and they're living with us. Like I have a Client right now dealing with the situation with her dad. And like, there's funds available, but it's what funds do we use? And then the issue too is some of these people still have debt they're paying on. Like, if you still have a mortgage on your house, you're gonna have to figure out a way to sell that. Or do I go in the nursing home? Like, it is way complicated. And while we do our best to plan, I think some of it is our states need to step in and legislature needs to step in and help these elderly people. Because if you're stupid rich, obviously you're fine. If you are destitute poor, honestly, you're fine too, because Medicaid is going to cover it. But if you're normal, lower to upper middle class, those are the people that are really going to struggle because they're not qualified for Medicaid, but they don't have enough money to cover. So like rich people, you're fine. Like, if you are very well off, you can pay for private sitters. If you are in the poverty level, the government is going to subsidize that. But if you are in that middle level, you're really gonna struggle. And either. And this is what the hard part is with this too.
If you have any assets, you're gonna have to become destitute poor for the government to help you. So all your assets that. And this is where a lot of people struggle to us. I work so hard to pay off my home and I want to save my home for my kids.
But no, you're not going to because you're gonna liquidate this home to pay for the nursing home or you are going to go and let the nursing home have it when you've died. So it's, it's a really hard situation and there is so much gray area. And I will say going into the holidays, a lot of people die during the holidays because it's very stressful. So I will say at least think about having your powers of attorney and stuff done. So if something were to happen, like, if something were to happen where somebody needs to make medical decisions for you, you have somebody appointed to do that, you have somebody appointed to handle your finances. But it's a really hard situation that the boomers are dealing with right now because you work really hard and then like there's nothing to show for it. And it's really your lower to middle class Americans that are struggling with this the most.
[00:10:17] Speaker B: And I mean, this was definitely so eye opening for me. I didn't realize Sorry.
All that was, you know, going on. I mean, for me I'm just like, hey, make it make. And I think, I think about it being so easy because I know Mark's Mimi, she, you know, went into a home when she lost her husband. You know, they sold her house, but I guess she just had enough assets to cover it.
And I'm like, well, we just all need to do that. But you know, you make a lot of sense and a lot of points here. So I was gonna ask for advice, but it seems like there's not so much advice. It's more so that we just have a really broken system.
[00:10:54] Speaker A: It's a broken system. I mean there are things you can do. Like if you can get long term care insurance. The issue with that is someone like your mom is not going to qualify for it because she's had cancer. Like, this is my mother.
You really need to plan in your 40s and 50s is the issue. But most people, we're not thinking about nursing homes when we're, you know, at this point in our lives. But like getting insurance to cover this, you have to do young. You can't wait till you're starting to think about it. And I think that's our nation. A lot of people, you know, that are in your 30s, you're not thinking of that long term care or what's gonna happen to me. But also we don't know what the world we're gonna live in is 30 years from now. And you know, if you're paying, you know, $300 a month for a long term care insurance policy and then what if something happens and it doesn't turn out the way you thought it would? 30. It's just, yeah, it's a really hard situation. I think there's ways to plan, but there's always give and take. When you're planning, there's no easy way to plan. You're going to have to give up something to get something kind of situation.
[00:12:04] Speaker B: Yeah, that's just a lot. Like I just, like I said, I thought I did it. I didn't see that, that this conversation would go here. But I mean, it definitely makes, you know, like my grandma, you know, she's trying to figure out care and stuff because there's a lot of things she can't do. And Jim as well. But at the same time, neither one of them want to spend all of their money because they do want to leave something to their families because they worked hard for it. And I did tell my grandma though, I've told her this before I said you, you use that money that you've worked hard for to take care of you. Like, don't worry as much about us. You know, you worked hard for it, use it to get the care that you need. But you know, she also, gosh, she would be so stressed if she had less than $2,000 in the bank. Like that would just devastate her.
So she's gonna put pennies to never be there.
So then that means the state's never gonna kick in to help her.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: No, it's a really hard situation and it's hard for a lot of families going through that. And also during all this time, you have to think about your prescription care costs. Like so many people, so many elderly people have to make the decision like, can I afford? Because you're on Medicare. But it gets to this certain time in the year where they stop paying out or at the beginning of the year you have to pay more out and you end up in this donut hole. It is a vicious cycle with medicines as well too. But you need like this diabetic medicine to live kind of thing. So, yeah, it's a really hard situation. And while I think we want to all do the best we can to plan some of it's just nobody's fault. And yeah, it's hard.
But switching gears, I guess for just.
[00:13:49] Speaker B: A few minutes most of our episode, I guess our episodes just change gears sometimes. It does that with a question.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: I just kind of wanted to talk a little bit about. Like I know a lot of you probably been seeing in the news there's been like a lot of people committing suicide at Disney, which I really didn't want to talk about that. But kind of the liabilities of when you so go to a theme park.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: I'm muting myself because I'm sick and I need to blow my nose. But I'm going to mute me for a second.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: So I definitely love going to theme parks.
I'm trying to convince my husband that we need a last minute Disney trip this year. We've had a really rough year overall. And so I want to go to Disney. But kind of when you go into a theme park, I know people have seen on the news at Epic Universe, which is where somewhere I just went this past summer that a disabled man passed away while on a roller coaster at Epic Universe. It was, I can't remember the name of it, but I didn't ride it. It wasn't. I just didn't want to wait in line. But it looked like a good ride, but he passed away while he was on this ride.
And I just kind of wanted to talk about like what's the liabilities and stuff. Like there's a lot of misinformation in the news as far as how this is gonna play out. I do imagine his family is gonna get some type of settlement, but there are a lot of times in these theme parks where if you go in and get hurt, there's nothing.
Bless you. I think there's nothing you can do about it because we've talked about this before, so so many times you go in to, to a theme park and when you go in, I mean in today's time you don't have a regular ticket, you probably have this digital ticket, but you're signing a contract that's saying like, I know that there are risk here and I'm accepting those risks. And so I just feel like it's going to be interesting to see and I'm guessing what's going to happen with this family is there's going to be some private payout that is going to have an NDA as part of it, a non disclosure agreement where they can't discuss it.
Because in this situation, I mean, I don't know, like. So I think the issue with, I think it was Stardust Racers. That's the name. The issue was he was disabled and like he couldn't can like have his head. He didn't have control of his head. And because of that he lost consciousness and his body like moved, which caused him to pass away. And so I will say some things I've noticed now that I've seen people talking about in the 900 Facebook groups I'm in about amusement parks is they have done stuff where you have to show to get on rides now at Universal, like at Epic, that you actually can support yourself.
So I think it's just gonna be really interesting to see how all this plays out in the news. And I feel like there's just a lot of misinformation about it.
I don't think anything was intentional. And I think Universal probably did a lot of testing because before they can open, this isn't your fair or they pop stuff up. They did a lot of testing, but every situation is different. But I will say at Disney, if you go on a lot now, I don't know, I haven't paid as much attention, but I know at Disney, which I like Disney a lot better than Universal, I just, I'm a Disney person, it's a different experience. The bubble is magic. But when you're getting on rides at Disney, you will see signs everywhere that said, if you have high blood pressure, don't ride this. If you have motion sickness, don't ride this. Because a woman did years ago die on Mission Space at Disney, which I. If you haven't been on, that is.
It's a spinny ride. It's supposed to simulate. You don't see it spinning. It's, like, in the dark. It's supposed to simulate you going into space. I mean, an astronaut and giving those G forces, but it's pretty much like you're on the Gravitron at the fair. It's just a fancy ride. But a woman did die, and I don't really think her family got any money for that because that was a risk she took getting on the ride. I think the only issue, the difference between Universal is because they didn't have any warnings saying that, like, this ride, you had to be able to hold your head up and stuff. So maybe there were different warnings. But when you get on these rides and you have a health condition that causes you to die or get sick, I mean, a lot of times the liability is not on the company. So while I love a good theme park, I do think it's important to understand when you go in there, you are taking a risk, and if something happens, it's on you. You've signed the contract pretty much.
[00:18:09] Speaker B: And we have to be careful with Luke.
There's certain things he can't do because of a. I don't think he hasn't, because they've done X rays before, but it's something along the neck. But I know that he's had X rays for it before. Before certain surgeries, they've done it, and he didn't have whatever they were looking for.
But it's still just a precaution. Like, he can't be like popcorn on a trampoline because of it. So something like that with those jerking motions.
So, you know, there's probably certain rides at Disney World that we won't let him ride just because of the risk of that. So, I mean, I was already planning on reaching out to our pediatrician before we went, just to ask her, like, hey, you know, what concerns should we have with riding certain rides? I don't remember that being. When I. When I've read about it before. I don't remember it being more like rides. It was more like. Like a. Like a popping, like. Like I mentioned with the trampoline. But, you know, you can sometimes get those jerkings on Certain roller coasters. So I was going to reach out to her anyway to find out and just make sure that we're not putting him on anything that could cause a risk or something.
[00:19:16] Speaker A: And I will say, at Disney, there are so many rides that are made for people who are disabled, and they are very good at helping you just if you are disabled, like in a wheelchair and stuff, Disney is one of the best places you can go that will help you actually get on. And they're good at marking stuff. And so many of the rides are even, like, where you can carry a baby and literally hold the baby now.
I mean, and especially, I don't know at their age. And I don't. How tall is Luke now?
[00:19:44] Speaker B: Oh, gosh, I forgot to have a measured. I know Mac is 41 inches because we just went. I had to take him to urgent care last week and I said, we're about to go to Disney. Could you check his height so I can know what rides he's gonna be able to ride? I would say Luke's probably about.
[00:20:01] Speaker A: Maybe 6 inches taller.
Maybe 47ft.
[00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:07] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, there's probably a good many rides he can ride, but just because you're tall enough doesn't mean you should ride them. Like, right.
[00:20:14] Speaker B: I would never put on on that Mission Space, and I would not ride anything.
[00:20:19] Speaker A: While one of my favorite rides is Guardians of the Galaxy, I don't know if a 7 year old is ready for that or not. Yeah. Not because it's scary, but because it is just very intense. But that pretty much is wrapping us up. But if you have a misinformation thing you want us to talk about on our next one, let us know and we'd be happy to look into it for you. And we're really excited to go into some murders around the holidays for December.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: I'm excited for murders in the holidays, not ones that are going to happen. Do not fire murders.
I'm glad I cleared that up.
All right, we'll see y' all next week.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: Bye.
