Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Foreign.
[00:00:05] Hey, everybody, it's Lacey. And unfortunately we do not have a Lauren this week, but welcome to another episode of the Llamas podcast.
[00:00:13] Lauren's husband had a doctor's appointment and said we were going to record today, but they're running a little bit behind. So unfortunately it's just me today.
[00:00:22] I have a possible trial starting next week. So she's going to join y' all probably for a solo episode for next week and then hopefully we. We can get back together group after that. But.
[00:00:33] But yeah. So we hope her husband feels well and, and gets better. I know he's had some issues with his eyes and stuff, so that's what they're trying to kind of figure out and sort out to get him better.
[00:00:45] So well wishes for that.
[00:00:47] So jumping into today's episode, I was dying to get on here and talk to Lauren about Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. You know, we love reality television, but she says she has not watched it yet. So we might do like a follow up to see if Lauren kind of agrees with me on some of these things. But nonetheless, if you have watched Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, let's dig into it. If you have not. This is just your spoiler alert. You may not want to listen to this episode yet until you watch it.
[00:01:18] Now, I know that a lot of stuff has come out recently with Taylor, Frankie, Paul. From my understanding, season five has been halted because of a domestic incident between her and Dakota.
[00:01:33] So I'm really curious about what's going on there. The Bachelorette is supposed to start filming on Sunday.
[00:01:40] And yeah, so everything is just kind of weird right now that she's under investigation for assault. My understanding is they both are that both parties have made allegations of domestic assault. From what I've read, it seems like their child ever might have been present and there was like, some issues.
[00:01:58] So right now they have halted production for season five. And I just don't know. I saw something today that ABC is talking about pulling her Bachelorette season.
[00:02:12] I don't know if that'll happen because, yes, I agree that a company does not want to be associated with certain things. Right? So if I had an employee and they posted certain things that I didn't align with, we all know I can let that go because that's a reflection of my business. Right? So ABC may not want to be associated with that. And we saw something similar in the Jersey Shore. Y' all remember when Ron and his baby mama had multiple domestic abuse incidents? And it went on both parties and it got to the point where they were like, hey, this does not align with our beliefs. We're not filming with him anymore.
[00:02:51] He needs to get help. And so they kind of like, didn't, I guess, in a way, shunned him away, but they just didn't want to align themselves with that. And that makes sense. MTV has fired people on the challenge for domestic disputes for making racial slurs, slurs against the LGBTQ community. So companies can do that. So ABC definitely can pull that season if they believe that, you know, she was involved in some criminal activity. Maybe they don't think it's best, but I don't think they will. And this is why people are going to watch the Bachelorette this year because of Taylor, Frankie, Paul. I think it's going to get more views from the audience because of what all is going on with her in Dakota and because of what all happened in season four. And money talks, right?
[00:03:44] We have morals, we have values, but this is a big company and money talk. So I would be really surprised if ABC pulled this season knowing the revenue they can bring in because of the drama and the assaults and the criminal activity. I'm not saying it's right.
[00:04:02] I'm not saying it's wrong, but I will tell you, if it starts airing on Sunday, I will be tuned in. And I have seen so many people on TikTok say the same thing because, you know, this is it. It's. I don't want anything to happen to her. I would love for her to get help. I would love to see this play out in a place of healing and really just moving forward in life. But it is hard to turn away from a train wreck, especially if you watch reality television. And I am not alone in that. There are lots of people who are the same way. So they are going to watch. They are going to tune in to see the. The train wreck, right? Just like we did Jersey Shore in the back of the day. We have it changed. We want to see what's going. Going on. We want to see the drama, especially my age. A lot of people my age, you don't have as much drama anymore. It's real nice and we don't want it. We don't want it in our lives, in our daily lives, but we want to see other people's drama. We grew up on the Jersey Shore. We grew up on Team mom, and now Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is giving us that back. So abc, I bet you're still going to air it because you want the money. And, you know, people like me are going to be tuning in for, for the show that this is going to be. So that's my take on what is going on as of just literally the last like 48 hours that this news has come out.
[00:05:28] But let's dive into season four. I have said this recently and I stand by it. Dakota and Taylor Frankie Paul are this generation's son. Sam and Ron. If you ever go back and rewatch the original Jersey Shore, every single episode was the same.
[00:05:49] It was all about Sam and Ron. Nobody wanting them to be together because they were so toxic and they could not get away from each other. And it was a train wreck every single episode. I remember rewatching it and I'm like, oh my gosh, this. How did I watch this back in the day? It's so annoying. But here I am, y'. All. I, I binged season four, I think in less than a week of Secret Wives, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. And Dakota and Taylor Frankie Paul are the same as him and Ron. And every single episode is the same.
[00:06:20] Dakota keeps doing stuff that he, he shouldn't do. Like I get that they are not together and he should move on. She should move on as well. But he keeps choosing people to move on with in her circle. And that's my problem with Dakota. He could do whatever he wants as a single person. I think he has a lot of trauma too. We all know that he's a recovering drug addict and I just don't think he is in an a place where he's emotionally available and he keeps getting with people in her inner circle. And I think it's to mess with her. It's not to move on, it's to stir the pot. And that's my problem with him. I get he has trauma too. And I don't fault him more than Taylor. She should move on as well. She has children to think of. She seems to have a really healthy co parenting relationship with her ex husband, but it just can't get there with Dakota because he keeps stirring the pot. He keeps getting with people that are in her inner circle. And that's my issue with him. If he just moved on with somebody not associated with her, that would be fine.
[00:07:32] And I, but part of me thinks even if he did that, she would still break down and have a meltdown because it's almost as if she can move on. She can fly somebody out that she likes and is interested in dating just like she did in season four. But then she's still gonna flip out on Dakota because he slept with somebody in the villa. So I Think it's kind of one of those sit where I don't want to be with you, but you can't be with anybody else either. He doesn't make it better, as I said, because he keeps going after people in the inner circle, in her circle that she knows.
[00:08:09] But I kind of think if he went after somebody that she didn't know at all and started dating, she would still break down and have a meltdown and not be well because she's not well. Neither one of them are well. And here we are in this toxic cycle watching all of them.
[00:08:26] So this is where we are with those two. I want to dip in. This is maybe controversial, but I'm gonna dip in a little bit about Jen's husband, Zach. I was not a Zach fan season one. Zach, season one was not supportive of his wife. It was his way or the highway. I don't think he could knew how to be a supportive husband in her progressing as a reality, reality TV show. And I know when she got pregnant, I was so sad because they just had so many issues to work out. Now what you see in season four is Jen was on Dancing with the Stars, which meant Zach was the stay at home dad taking care of the baby. Same thing with Whitney. Whitney too was on Dancing with the Stars. Connor was working a job. She's like, this is just too much. He quit his job to be a stay at home dad for Whitney.
[00:09:19] What you see happen in the episodes is, Connor, sorry. My niece was having surgery this morning and my sister was just texting me. Okay. She's good. She made it out.
[00:09:35] So Connor, when Whitney is like really upset, like, I'm missing out on all these things because I'm doing Dancing with the Stars. I have so much going on. I'm missing out as a mom connect. Connor was really sweet. He's like, I've got it. I've got this. Like, we're so proud of you. Like, I understand why you're feeling that way. You have a lot on your plate. So the conversation with Jen and Zach was quite different. Zach was the one saying, like, this is really hard and the kids miss you. And he even talked to Connor about how difficult it was to stay at home. Zach's been getting a lot of hate for that conversation.
[00:10:09] I don't hate him, honestly. I relate. I don't think I could be a stay at home mom either.
[00:10:16] I think it's very hard that what stay at home moms do. I think what I do is really hard too. And you have to choose what's best for you and for me. I don't think I would be okay mentally and emotionally staying at home with my children. I love my babies. I love being a mom. It's one of my biggest joys in life. It's one of the things I'm most proud of.
[00:10:40] But to be my best self, I have to work, I have to be intellectually challenged.
[00:10:46] Y' all know, following the show, I am an attorney, and we know Zach was set to go to med school. That tells me that most likely he has a high intellect.
[00:10:56] We have to be challenged. No matter where you're at in life, like a lot of things, you. You have to have some kind of drive for something. And some people find that drive in staying home and raising their babies. And I love that for you, if that is what you do. But like I said, that's not for me. And it doesn't seem like that's for Zach either. And he's entitled to feel that way. If he doesn't like being a stay at home parent, he's entitled to feel that way and voice those feelings with his spouse. And he did that, and he did so in a great way. He didn't yell, he wasn't frustrated. He didn't do it. When she's coming home and all the kids are crying like, this is the worst thing ever. How could you go to work and just leave me here with the babies?
[00:11:37] No, they sat down at dinner, he said, and it sounds like he is not so much of a nurturer, that Jen Moore is the nurturer. And that is okay. I'm more of a nurturer than my husband. My husband absolutely nurtures my kids. He loves my kids. And honestly, when they're sick or they're not feeling well, he's the one that goes and lays in the bed with them at night.
[00:11:58] But on the daily.
[00:12:00] I am the primary nurturer of the kids. They're all on me, snuggled up, cuddled under a blanket, like, you know, and I, I think if I were gone for a significant period of time, like, they would miss that. It would be hard on them. And that is okay for him to voice that. And if he doesn't want to be a stay at home mom, that or stay at home dad, like, they have to figure out that dynamic. I think it shows. He supported Jen by declining to go to med school. He turned that down to support her career. Just because he doesn't feel. Feel fulfilled staying at home with the children doesn't mean he's not supporting his wife. He's clearly supporting his wife. He quit med school to go to Dancing with the Stars. He's doing everything he needs. He's just voicing that he's not fulfilled in doing it. And he mentioned that they need to have some hard conversations and therapy to figure it out. Maybe he needs to go into the workforce. Maybe they need to hire a nanny to help raise the kids. It seems like they can afford it with what they're making on all these shows and all these adventures and business opportunities. Maybe that's what's best. Maybe he does need to go to med school. Maybe he needs to go to online school for something else to do. Something that makes him fulfilled. That's okay. And he's okay voicing that that's what he wants. That he does not want to be a stay at home dad and needs to do other things.
[00:13:24] Another important thing to note about those conversations.
[00:13:27] Yes, Whitney's children are young.
[00:13:30] Jen was doing Dancing with the Stars. She's starting off with an eight week old baby. That is so hard. I mean, that was hard on me when I had Luke and Mac was a newborn. Like that whole first year of life was so hard because Mac would not take to Mark at all.
[00:13:48] Today it's so different. I mean, Mark's picking him up from school and he's so excited and said, I love my daddy. I'm so glad he's picking me up from school.
[00:13:57] Last week there was a day where I could pick him up or Mark and he said, I want my dad to pick me up. I said, that's fine. I'll tell Daddy to pick you up.
[00:14:05] That first year of life, y', all, was not like that. Mac would not go to Mark at all, which means every time he woke up at night, I had to go. If Mark tried, it would just make things worse. It was so difficult.
[00:14:18] And so I go back to that and thinking that that's probably what he is going through all day, all night, while Jen's pursuing her dreams. That's being supportive, y'. All. He's just struggling and it's okay. And I think some people are hating on him because Connor is in such a different space. But Connor doesn't have an 8 week old baby that he's taken care of. I think the youngest is at least over a year old. There is a significant difference in a baby being over a year old than eight weeks. Eight weeks is so much harder. So I think Zach has more on his plate. I also think Connor is more of a nurturer than Zach. That's okay too. They're two very different men. That's all right.
[00:14:59] So I just think Zach is getting a lot of hate for that conversation that is not warranted or justified. And I've had conversations, you know, with my husband too, with his coaching career. We've had conversations about, well, he can do expectation wise to balance my career and vice versa. You know, what can I do in moving my career to support his and also just what can we do? So that way Luke is always cared for. We're kind of restricted too. And what we do for our dreams and goals because of Luke's providers and medical care.
[00:15:33] These are conversations that have to come up and hard conversations that have, you know, have to be had in these situations when you have two parents that are extremely career driven. So I hope that Zach finds something that gives him fulfillment because I too just don't think that I could be a stay at home parent. And I think I would feel very much like he does if I were. And I just don't think he should be compared so drastically to Connor in, in those dynamics of conversations. So that is my take on that.
[00:16:08] Now him going to have that conversation with Whitney I felt was inappropriate, but I blame Jen for that.
[00:16:15] If the drama between Jen and Whitney, I think Jen was very much postpartum. Just like I think when Whitney and Michaela were getting into that, Whitney was fear, you know, postpartum hormones, it's, it's hard, it's difficult, it's a difficult time. My paralegal told me recently, she always, she heard this advice and she thought it was solid. And I agree, don't make any drastic decisions your first year when you're pregnant and your first year of having a baby. And I, I think that's so important because your hormones are everywhere, your emotions are everywhere. And I think it's, society is just not set up to support women in that first year of life, especially the fourth trimester. We call the first, you know, is it nine weeks or 12 weeks after you have a baby? The first, the fourth trimester. And we're not supported, we're expected to, oh, the baby's out. You should go back to doing everything you were doing beforehand. It's like, no, our bodies haven't recovered. Everything hurts. Your boobs hurt mentally, you're not well. And maybe we'd be better if we had support from society, but we don't. And Jen jumped into Dancing with the Stars. Again, that was her choice. But I do think just that that plays a part in some of these issues in these friendships. But at the end of the day, even though she was feeling some type of way with Dancing with the Stars and some type of way with Whitney, she should have had those conversations. And if she wasn't ready, she should have told Whitney that, I'm not ready to have this conversation yet, but I will sit down and I will let you know what I'm ready instead.
[00:17:50] Her husband. That was completely inappropriate. And if I were in Whitney's shoes, I would not have even engaged in that conversation with him. I would have just said, if she's not ready to have the conversation, that's fine. Tell her to call me when she is. And I would have left.
[00:18:05] There was no point in her sitting there and trying to have that conversation with Zach. He's not part of it.
[00:18:12] Also, I.
[00:18:14] I don't. I think Zach struggles to tell Jen when she is in the wrong. Like, hey, I just don't think you're right in that I'm a stand by your man kind of person. Right. I'm not going to talk about my husband in front of people if I think he's wrong, but I'm going to have those private conversations like, hey, I have your back. But in looking at this situation, I don't know if I fully understand, so let's have a conversation about it.
[00:18:35] I don't think Zach does that. And maybe it's because of their past issues. He just doesn't feel if he could be honest with her fully on some of those things or what. But I just don't think that he should have went. I thought that was just inappropriate. He would not have liked it if Jen had shown up to talk to something about Dem to me and Brett show up. He would have hated that. Rightfully so. So he shouldn't have done it either. So that is a lot of information on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. But I've been dying to talk about it. And so I'm curious to know what y' all think, too.
[00:19:11] There's so much more to dive into. Maybe we'll dive into it when Lauren is back and ready to let me know your thoughts.
[00:19:20] Do you think ABC will still air the Bachelorette starting on Sunday?
[00:19:25] Do you think she ends up with somebody or Dakota ruins it?
[00:19:31] And do you think Zach was valid in his feelings?
[00:19:35] And do you think Whitney should have had that conversation with Zach? So that wraps up this episode. That's my little summary. So let me know what you think about those four things. And then maybe, like I said in a couple weeks, once Lauren gets caught up and. But anyways, that's it for this week's episode. We'll see you next week.
